When we refuse to soften, to surrender, to mourn our daily dying, we necessarily live with a high degree of illusion and depression. Freud taught us that the person who will not mourn gets stuck in melancholy. When we secretly harbor the adolescent dream that we may remain youthful and triumphant forever, we are certain to feel, as the ravages of age begin, that we have somehow failed and that our coming death represents a final defeat.
The alternative is to cultivate the bittersweet discipline of mourning and enjoying each passing day. "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."